Gramma

My Gramma died in the early hours of Friday morning.  Diagnosed with esophageal cancer on December 23rd, she traveled from her home to stay with my parents while she sought treatment and care here.  It was only in the last week of her life that she finally had to be hospitalized and in that week, she was surrounded from morning until nightfall by everyone who loved her.  Each of us held her frail hands in ours, gave her swabs of water, and moved her into more comfortable positions as she needed.  I hope she knew how much we were all fighting for her.

Who she was encompassed so much more than what cancer did to her.  I am so thankful for everything she did for me, for everything she was to our family and for the chance for her to know and love Chick and Pea.

Because I Don't Want To Forget These Moments

Tonight, I was cuddling with Pea in bed (we co-sleep)and lying face to face with him as he was drifting off to sleep. We had read three stories, had retraced our day from start to finish and I then shared my favorite moment of the day with him. Not long after he turned out the light and snuggled back into our face to face position in the dark, did his body quiet down and his breathing become rhythmic. I was about to get up to come back downstairs when from the darkness came a little voice. What he said made my heart swell and made me stay and hold him longer than I typically do.

His words:  "Happy, Mama."

I Should Be Sleeping

It's been a week since I last posted. I have a million things on my mind and no time or energy to post about them.

The twins turned 20 months on Saturday. That's a TWO and a ZERO, people. To quote my best friend, "That's emmereffin crazy!"

The weather here in Southern Ontario was incredibly glorious last week, so we spent an inordinate amount of time enjoying it. The kids are so happy when they can spend so much time outside and happy kids make for happy parents.

We found a new park just down the road. It is literally brand new and not just new to us. It has at least two feet of soft sand (instead of the hard gravel at our nearest park) to cushion falls and the equipment is super-fun and challenging.

I bought some sand toys, some sidewalk chalk, and some little cars and trucks at the dollar store. Each time we traveled to the park, we sprawled out all of the new toys and invited other kids to come play with us. I loved seeing Chick and Pea walk up to the other kids and hand them a toy. It completely melted my heart. Isn't this what parks are for?

Unfortunately, the weather over the weekend was not as friendly and we were back to spending time indoors. April showers? You betcha!

I have learned to trust my Mother's Intuition. Ten minutes after we put the twins to bed on Saturday night, I decided to check on Chick. She usually plays in her crib until she falls asleep and we can hear her doing so on the monitor. On Saturday night, we didn't hear anything. When I went up, she was just lying there with her eyes open. I kissed her and left. I told J. that I thought it was odd that she was just lying there and he thought maybe she was just overtired. Twenty minutes later, I checked on her again and she was still lying there awake. I scooped her up and rocked her for a bit until she fell asleep. She woke up crying shortly after midnight (Chick never cries through the night unless she is sick) and was completely stuffed up and coughed (bark-like) until she conked out just before 5am. A trip to the clinic on Sunday revealed croup. Poor little thing.

The doctor told us to keep Chick outside as much as possible and that the cold air would be good for her. So, when J. and Pea left to run some errands, I took Chick on a 5K walk. It was FREEZING and snowing, so I bundled her from head to toe. We were gone for about an hour (we stopped at a park midway so she could stretch her legs and have a snack) and when we returned home, she was full of energy and ready to play for the first time all day.

I bought all of the fun Easter goodies we are going to give to the twins on Sunday and will assemble it all in their new Easter Baskets. We weren't going to do anything for them this year because they would have no idea otherwise, but something stirred in me that made me want to have them go on a hunt this year. I can't wait!

We are signing up for a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) Organic Veggie Bin service from a local farm. In addition to lovely fruits, vegetables and herbs, we will collect a dozen eggs per week from pastured hens. The program runs for 20 weeks (from June to October) and I'm excited about buying from local farmers who are humane in their treatment of animals and the Earth.

Saturday Hike

Since J. was scheduled to work 13 hours of overtime on Sunday, we knew we would have to make the most of our one full day together as a family on Saturday.  Happily, the weather was gloriously sunny and mild and just perfect for a family hike.

We are proud to live in an area that houses the Oak Ridges Moraine and we take advantage of the hiking trails often.  Now that the kayaks have been sold, our attention and activity will have to focus on our hikes.  We hope to nurture a love of hiking in the twins.  If Saturday is any indication, we are well on our way.

Magical Moon

We spend a great deal of time outside (even in the cold winter months) but haven't spent a lot of time outside at dusk.  We have several books in which the moon is present and discussed, but tonight was the first time that Chick actually made the connection between what she has learned through books and what appears in the night sky.  Seeing the moon through her eyes tonight was magical. I can only imagine the awe she must have felt.

Magical Moon from Two Kayaks on Vimeo.

Twinbiguity

When the twins were first born and up until a few months ago, we could rarely go out in public without being stopped several times by curious (sometimes intrusive) people.  The ogling and the questions we could stomach (most of the time) but the touching of our children by strangers drove us insane.  I clearly remember the huffy reaction I received after telling one woman in a consignment shop not to touch Chick.  Her hands were moving in to rub Chick's cheek and I had had it with the intrusion on her personal space.

Lately I have noticed that we encounter these intrusions with much less frequency than before.  We have reached the blessed ambiguity of twindom (reserved only for fraternal twins, no doubt - sorry identicals!).  People can no longer assume that Chick and Pea are twins (Pea easily has four pounds on our petite Chick) and so we are stopped less often. Now when we are stopped it is only to ask if the kids are twins, followed by the ever-so-popular "You have your hands full".

I love twinbiguity.

Our little twinlets playing on the deck yesterday morning after breakfast.  

It was 0˚C (32˚F) and they were still wearing their sleepers, but by geez if they were going to let those two issues prevent them from having fun.

The Moon Stayed Up Until Morning Next Day

• I turned 38 on Monday and I'm owning it outright.  If this is how it feels to be 38, I like it a lot. 

• We had Pea's post operative appointment on Tuesday and he passed with flying colours.  We had another post operative appointment in Toronto this morning (this is his second post-op for his eye).  We will have to see the doctor again in 6 months to make a decision about what's next for Pea.

• I am grateful I don't have to drive into Toronto every morning.  A drive that should have taken 45 minutes, took 90.  Chick was not impressed.  When Chick isn't impressed, no one is happy.  Thank goodness I knew to leave early.  We got to the doctor's office with one minute to spare.  

• I was making lunch for the twins the other day when I suddenly realized that it was terribly quiet in the great room.  When I peeked my head up and over the half-wall, I saw what had been done.  Our fireplace mantel, the walls on either side, the window panes, and the side of the cupboards had been coloured.  After some re-direction, I stood and admired the "art".  My first thought was not of the clean-up, but of the long years we waited to see our walls covered in crayon.  Perspective is everything.  Thank goodness they were washable crayons!

• Chick and Pea have been stringing two word sentences together like nobody's business over the last month or so.  It all started when Pea said, "Milk cold!" and made his whole body shiver as though he was chilled.  Now, we regularly hear phrases like, "Hi, Mama", "Hi, Dada", "No bite!", "Milk cold", "Mama bath", "Dada wooh (work)",  "Get down" (said to the cat), and "More milk/juice/water" to name a few.  Pea has even uttered "No balloon, cat" as his first three word sentence.  Bear was nibbling on the knot of a balloon and Pea was annoyed.  

• I am in love with the book, "On The Night You Were Born" by Nancy Tillman and am in the process of ordering her book, "Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You".  Beautifully written and endearing. I'm addicted to children's books.

• So fed up with never being able to fold a fitted sheet properly, I g00gled "How To Fold A Fitted Sheet".  I found a great video and can now fold with confidence. It's the little things, people.