Don't Give Up

I read a post the other day written by a woman who had just given birth to her son after losing her twins at 19 weeks last year. It resonated with me and I wholeheartedly agree with everything she wrote.

What did she write? Essentially, she wrote "Don't give up".

We are in the thick of it. This baby rearing gig, I mean. I have heard that the first three months of parenthood are the most difficult and that the first three months of parenthood with multiples are downright hazy to say the least. The sleeplessness, the lack of time to do anything other than feed babies, burp babies, change diapers, rock babies to sleep, make bottles, wash bottles, breastfeed, pump, and stick soothers in mouths a zillion times a day can make sane parents lose their minds. It's difficult, to say the absolute least. However, having ached for this for so long and having moved heaven and earth to have these babies in our lives, we have a different kind of appreciation for every little moment. Not necessarily a greater appreciation, just a different one.

We have had our babies home with us for almost two months and though there have definitely been moments of terror, of frustration and of irritability, the spans of incredible elation have far outweighed them.

~
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
~ Dale Carnegie
~

We wake in the middle of the night for feeds to see big beautiful eyes staring at us from inside bassinets. As we feed, we feel tiny fingers petting our hands. We feel the wonderful sensation of warm breath against our necks as we cuddle and console them throughout the day and night. Newly discovered smiles melt our hearts and surprise us every time. It's taken a bit of time, but when the babies need consoling, they recognize our voices, our touch, our love and are almost instantly calmed.

None of this is wasted on us. Not one second of it.

Last November, we were at the point of giving up. It had been nine years and in those nine years we saw multiple failures, had multiple losses, and saw an adoption move from an exciting prospect to a seemingly unattainable dream. We were mentally and physically spent. As much as we wanted to give up and as much as we dreamed of what it would be like to not have this ache inside of us any longer, to sever the desire to have a family, we tried again. After being knocked down time and time again, we got up one last time. Two little lives were born as a result.

I keep looking back over the past nine years and comparing them to an ascent of Mount Everest.  We made our own path, trudged through difficult terrain, had to stop from time to time to catch our breaths and to acclimatize to the current state of affairs, and sometimes lamented that it just couldn't be done.  After finding whatever it was inside of us that gave us the motivation to take another step, then another, we found something amazing.  The view from the top.

No matter where you are in the process to create your family and no matter what you have to do to bring your children home, don't give up.  Keep reaching deep inside to find the strength and the courage to be tenacious, to alter the course of your original destination and to stand tall against obstacles.  Whatever you do, don't give up. 

Introducing...

Chick

and Pea!!

The community has spoken and Chick and Pea were the clear favorites.  Since this is what I have called them from the very beginning, it seems very fitting to continue with that now.

The final poll results are here:

Thanks to all 84 of you for voting and for being a part of this decision!

Nicknames

Okay, so I've delayed this too long already. I've put a poll at the top of the page asking what you think I should call the twins on the blog. Here's some background to the choices:

Chick and Pea: Throughout my pregnancy, I referred to the babies as Chick and Pea.

Peaches and Tater: Our girl has the fuzziest head I've ever seen. She looks and feels like a little peach. I love rubbing our boy's head. It's beautifully shaped and looks a little like a tater tot.

The Girl and The Boy: Self explanatory. Simple and to the point.

So??

Luvable and Irresistible

We went to our first dinner party last night with the twins in tow.  We were a little concerned about how things would be for our boy considering there would be fifteen or so people in attendance during our boy's typically worst time of the day for his colic. Would he scream uncontrollably throughout the evening?  Would we end up consoling him the whole time?  Would we have to leave super early? Thankfully, all was well and our boy had a great night out!  Both babies were awesome and slept amid lots of laughter and lots of hustle and bustle.  How great is that?

Thanks to an email from reader of this blog (who didn't leave a blog address) we decided to switch our boy's formula to a hypo-allergenic one to see if this would help his symptoms.  We were thinking about doing this for a few days before we got the email from Deborah, but her

"What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all."
-- Benjamin Spock

recommendation solidified our decision.  Our doctor had mentioned this formula at our last visit but said that because of the cost, he only recommends it to parents of babies who display colic symptoms 24/7.  We, however, just wanted to see him content no matter what the cost.
The first 24 hours of the switch we saw no improvement whatsoever, but we knew it might take some time for the results to take effect. Lo and behold, by the third day on the formula, we saw our baby boy calm down, lose the tummy rumblings we had been feeling through his skin, and rest a whole lot easier.  I can't tell you
how incredible it feels to see him so content...finally.  We are only on day three of seeing these changes, but we are hopeful that he will continue to do well.  The formula really is ridiculously expensive, but we would pay ANY amount of money to see him this content. 

Let's hope we get to see more of this calm, happy boy!  We even got to see SMILES from him yesterday! Of course, we didn't capture them on camera, but STILL!!

Yes you are!

Bum Love

I never knew I could love someone's bum so much...

Sigh...

He fell asleep on my lap as I was trying to burp him.

Don't you just want to nibble on it?

Look at this one!! 

Three Babies?

This cat has serious issues.

Luck

I can't tell you how many times we have been stopped by strangers who tell us how "lucky" we are to have our twins.  It gets old very quickly to be stopped every few minutes while out by people who assume that our journey has been easy.

It has nothing to do with luck.  We have worked very hard to get where we are.  We never stopped trying, even in the face of brutal diagnoses and doctors telling us that our efforts were futile.  We researched medicine, we called many doctors who might help us in our plight, and met some pretty amazing people along the way who inspired us.  Luck is not part of this equation.

The equation looks more like this:
Love Between K2 and Me + Support From Family and Friends + An Incredible Medical Community + People Believing In Us = Two Beautiful Babies Who Are the Lights of Our Lives

But...you can't tell this to the nosy woman in Wal.Mart who thinks that babies fall out of trees.  Instead, we simply smile and say, "Yes, we are very lucky".