In Case Of Sushi Emergency

Remember this post about the new sushi restaurant opening in our town?  Well, last night, K2 and I were on our way home from a late lunch out and saw that it had finally opened!!  We swung the car into the parking lot, picked up a take-out menu, then went home to salivate over all of the options.  Later on, K2 went back out to pick up a few rolls.  The report?  Better than grocery store sushi...nowhere near the quality and taste of "Our Place".  We've decided that it will be our "in case of emergency" sushi place.

With some help from Doris and Dan, K2 and I bought a brand new camera yesterday!!  We've had our current one since 2004 and felt it was time to upgrade since we will want to take some beautiful pictures of the babies when they are born.  We've gone from this:

 

To this:

 

K2 has been playing with it since last night and poor Bear has had enough.  Some of the shots taken:

 

Sleeping soundly.

  

How beautiful is my Blueberry Bear?

  

My newly pedicured toes.  Please ignore the swelling and the cankles.

Have a wonderful Saturday, everyone!  We are heading out to "our sushi place" for lunch with some friends, then we're wide open for a gloriously free Saturday.  Enjoy!

We Need A New Word For "Overwhelmed"

Over the past two days, we have read some of the most beautiful comments and emails we have ever received. We didn't really know what to expect when we revealed our news, but the experience surpassed anything we could have ever imagined.

So many of you walked with us through our miscarriages and provided incredible support and kind words. I read over those comments yesterday as well and cried as I did.  December of 2007 and May of 2008 seem like an eternity ago now, but the emotions from then welled up inside of me as I read through my own feelings and the comments from my extended family in this community.

Now, so many of you have chosen to walk with us through this amazing time in our lives and we are thrilled.  Isn't this what it is all about?  Walking with friends through the good and the bad?

We kept our news quiet for as long as we did because of the fear I had about losing these babies.  K2 was pretty confident all along, but I had so much anxiety that I just couldn't bring myself to announce it for fear of being the "Girl Who Cried Pregnant".  I love writing and it has been difficult to not be as authentic as I wanted to be on this blog.

Our pregnancy has been perfect.  For so long, I cursed my body for not doing what it was ultimately meant to do, only to have it perform better than expected.  Our doctor calls us the stars of the show.  I'm 36 weeks with twins and have not had one minute of bed rest, have not had any issues with bleeding, blood pressure or diabetes and we are still managing to walk every day for 45 minutes or so.  Sure, it takes me that long to walk to the end of the driveway and back, but you get the idea.  Miraculous is too weak a word to use.

My dad called me the other night after he read through all of your beautiful comments and said that it was heartening to see that so many people, even those in the midst of their own pain, were so beautifully supportive.  If anyone knows how difficult it can be to be joyous for others in the midst of pain, it's us.  We know the courage it takes and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Waiting For This Moment To Arrive

Friends

Tanya, Craig and their daughter came up for a quick overnight visit on their way to visit family a little farther on down the highway.  They left this morning and I always feel such a sense of emptiness when friends leave.  We will see them again on Saturday when they make the trek back home, so that is good.

They drove up here in Craig's spiffy new car.  How cute are they in front of his cute new car?

And Now It's August

I can't believe that we are actually in the month of August as of today.  July seemed to fly by, as it does every summer.  As I look out the window this morning, I am excited to see that we have a full day of sunshine spread out before us.  For those of you who don't live in or near Toronto, we have not seen sunshine for a full day in weeks.  July was a very chilly, wet month and I love that we are starting August with a gorgeous full sun.

August.

Let's breathe that in, shall we?  This month promises so much for so many of our friends:

• My sweet friend Catherine will see the face of her daughter for the very first time
• My friends Enviroman and Red Sand will touch Canadian soil with their twin boys
• My friends Dolores, Michelle, and Tanya will celebrate their birthdays
• Tanya and Craig will celebrate their 12th wedding anniversary
• K2 and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary

See?  TONS to celebrate this month and I'm ready to don my party hat for each and every one!   Happy August, my friends!  And what a month it will be!

Thank you for all your interesting comments on the last post.  Isn't it interesting how many of us jump in without thought?  I'm still pondering it all.

It's Saturday and one of my favorite days of the week.  K2 and I have had our yummy bagels, we've watched last night's episode of David Letterman, we've cuddled with Blueberry Bear and the day is still spread out before us. 

Although the forecast is calling for rain (what else is new around here) we won't let that deter us from enjoying this day.  K2 is already out and gone for an early morning bike ride and I decided to stay home and enjoy my PJs a little longer.  I feel no shame.

OOhhhhh!  There was just a commercial on TV advertising the Tin Roof Brownie Blizzard from DQ.  I had one last weekend and am still salivating over it.  I'm thinking that today may have to include this little treat. K2 had the Turtle Oreo Blizzard last weekend and it was yummy as well.  Decisions, decisions!  Life is good!

Rescue Me

K2 and I were watching one of our favorite TV shows last week (Rescue Me) when a scene played that struck us both.  The show is about firefighters and in this particular episode, the firefighters came upon a firey car accident.  While surveying the scene, they saw that one of the victims (a young child) had been thrown from the vehicle and was resting on the lawn. The cameras never panned to the young child, but the reactions of the firefighters were enough to let the audience know that the sight was gruesome beyond words.  One firefighter turned his head and was immediately sick.  None of them seemed to be able to approach the body in order to cover it before the parents or public could see it.  Except one.  Tommy, who lost his own son in an car accident, was the only firefighter who could do what needed to be done.

K2 looked at me and said, "You would do that". 

And he's right.

What I have been thinking about since that night is why. 

Why am I the person who is called for the worst of the bloody cases at school?   I mean, I can do it and gladly so, but why?  What is it about me that can do it?  What is it about anyone who can do it?

When J. was killed, her clothes and other personal effects were given to us in a plastic bag and left in the trunk of my dad's car.  I remember not wanting my parents or my brother to have to see the blood-stained clothes, to breathe in the scent of death or to see her butterfly necklace coiled tightly at the bottom of the bag.  So, I went out and grabbed the clothes to wash them before anyone could see them otherwise.  My mind can easily go back to that moment and my senses can relive it easily.

I think it's too easy to say that this is about strength.  In fact, it makes me angry to say that this is strength because labeling me as strong has sometimes made it too easy for others to negate my fear, my apprehension and my anxiety. I also think that by labeling it as strength, it labels those who cannot do it as weak and this is far from the case.  It is not about strength and weakness.

So what is it?  How can some people stomach the things they do, witness the things they do, and do the things they do while others cannot?  I often joke that I'm "dead inside" but I know I'm not.  I can't watch any commercials about animal shelters in need or even listen to a news report about animal abuse.  Where humans are concerned, though, I can do a lot. 

Is it that the need to take care of others overwhelms my fear?  Is it that my desire to prevent others from experiencing pain overwhelms the anxiety?

I have no answers and expect none.  It's just something I've been thinking about.