And Now It's August

I can't believe that we are actually in the month of August as of today.  July seemed to fly by, as it does every summer.  As I look out the window this morning, I am excited to see that we have a full day of sunshine spread out before us.  For those of you who don't live in or near Toronto, we have not seen sunshine for a full day in weeks.  July was a very chilly, wet month and I love that we are starting August with a gorgeous full sun.

August.

Let's breathe that in, shall we?  This month promises so much for so many of our friends:

• My sweet friend Catherine will see the face of her daughter for the very first time
• My friends Enviroman and Red Sand will touch Canadian soil with their twin boys
• My friends Dolores, Michelle, and Tanya will celebrate their birthdays
• Tanya and Craig will celebrate their 12th wedding anniversary
• K2 and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary

See?  TONS to celebrate this month and I'm ready to don my party hat for each and every one!   Happy August, my friends!  And what a month it will be!

Thank you for all your interesting comments on the last post.  Isn't it interesting how many of us jump in without thought?  I'm still pondering it all.

It's Saturday and one of my favorite days of the week.  K2 and I have had our yummy bagels, we've watched last night's episode of David Letterman, we've cuddled with Blueberry Bear and the day is still spread out before us. 

Although the forecast is calling for rain (what else is new around here) we won't let that deter us from enjoying this day.  K2 is already out and gone for an early morning bike ride and I decided to stay home and enjoy my PJs a little longer.  I feel no shame.

OOhhhhh!  There was just a commercial on TV advertising the Tin Roof Brownie Blizzard from DQ.  I had one last weekend and am still salivating over it.  I'm thinking that today may have to include this little treat. K2 had the Turtle Oreo Blizzard last weekend and it was yummy as well.  Decisions, decisions!  Life is good!

Rescue Me

K2 and I were watching one of our favorite TV shows last week (Rescue Me) when a scene played that struck us both.  The show is about firefighters and in this particular episode, the firefighters came upon a firey car accident.  While surveying the scene, they saw that one of the victims (a young child) had been thrown from the vehicle and was resting on the lawn. The cameras never panned to the young child, but the reactions of the firefighters were enough to let the audience know that the sight was gruesome beyond words.  One firefighter turned his head and was immediately sick.  None of them seemed to be able to approach the body in order to cover it before the parents or public could see it.  Except one.  Tommy, who lost his own son in an car accident, was the only firefighter who could do what needed to be done.

K2 looked at me and said, "You would do that". 

And he's right.

What I have been thinking about since that night is why. 

Why am I the person who is called for the worst of the bloody cases at school?   I mean, I can do it and gladly so, but why?  What is it about me that can do it?  What is it about anyone who can do it?

When J. was killed, her clothes and other personal effects were given to us in a plastic bag and left in the trunk of my dad's car.  I remember not wanting my parents or my brother to have to see the blood-stained clothes, to breathe in the scent of death or to see her butterfly necklace coiled tightly at the bottom of the bag.  So, I went out and grabbed the clothes to wash them before anyone could see them otherwise.  My mind can easily go back to that moment and my senses can relive it easily.

I think it's too easy to say that this is about strength.  In fact, it makes me angry to say that this is strength because labeling me as strong has sometimes made it too easy for others to negate my fear, my apprehension and my anxiety. I also think that by labeling it as strength, it labels those who cannot do it as weak and this is far from the case.  It is not about strength and weakness.

So what is it?  How can some people stomach the things they do, witness the things they do, and do the things they do while others cannot?  I often joke that I'm "dead inside" but I know I'm not.  I can't watch any commercials about animal shelters in need or even listen to a news report about animal abuse.  Where humans are concerned, though, I can do a lot. 

Is it that the need to take care of others overwhelms my fear?  Is it that my desire to prevent others from experiencing pain overwhelms the anxiety?

I have no answers and expect none.  It's just something I've been thinking about.

It's Been A While

I cannot believe how quickly time is passing this summer and am astounded that we are at the end of July already.  Sigh.

Thank you all so much for your comments and well wishes on the post about my mom.  I have to say that I wasn't worried about her, despite how worried she was.  I just had a strong feeling that it would all be okay and that if she did have cancer, she would be cured of it quickly.  I'm happy that she doesn't have to deal with it at all.

We were all geared up for referrals this month because my very good friend Catherine is SO close to seeing Hannah's face for the first time.  Sadly, Catherine missed the cutoff by one day and we were all pretty bummed for her.  The good news is that she is NEXT and I can't wait to finally see Hannah and to see Catherine become a mom.  Next up will be Doris and Dan and we can't wait for them to see their Baby Girl!!!

Speaking of new parents...Red Sand and Enviroman are leaving in TWO DAYS for China to meet their twin boys!!  How exciting is that?

K2 is working 10 hour days this summer which leaves me to my own devices Monday - Thursday for the better part of the day.  What happens when I am left to my own devices?  Organization and purging.  However, I must complete the organization and purge before K2 gets home each day so that he doesn't see all that I have thrown away.  He's not a pack rat, by any means, but he does like to hold onto things "just in case".  I have no emotional attachment to anything and can easily throw things away, so I do so while he is at work and he never catches on.  Deceptive?  Yes.  Necessary?  Absolutely.  As a result, our house is now very organized and mostly everything has a place.  We now need to focus on getting furniture for our finished basement.  My brother was storing a lot of his furniture down there, but he has moved it all out and into his new house.  Now, the basement is empty and we want to make it a living space.  Perhaps one of these days, K2 will come home to a fully furnished basement!

I am going to make more of an effort to post more often because I'm sure you're all just desperate to find out more about my organization follies.  Seriously, I need to get back to writing...

I leave you now with a picture of my biggest hinderance to organization:  Bear.  It takes forever to get going in the mornings because he pins me down until he's ready to let me go.

Cancer Free

My mom, that is.  She got the news this morning that the biopsy revealed that she is clean as a whistle.

Thank you to those of you who have been emailing and sending good thoughts.

Pretty Good So Far

Today marks day five of being on summer break and I have had a lovely five days thus far.  On Saturday, my very pregnant best friend came for a visit and we had a great time together.  Sadly, she had to leave on Monday to travel back to Ottawa to be with her family.  How cute does she look at 26 weeks?

 

Little Rowan will make his debut sometime in early October.

Yesterday, my good friend Terry and I spent the day shopping and dining.  It was a great way to spend a Tuesday!

Today, K2 has the day off as it is Canada Day!  The weather is promising to be ugly for the better part of the day, so it is difficult to know how to plan.  We were going to tear out the kayaks and head for water, but with a storm brewing, I'm not sure that it's such a good idea.  For now, we are staring at this lump of fur (who is still NOT eating the way we would like him to).  Sigh.  Could he be ANY cuter?

 

He's had a rough morning playing in his tissue paper and with all of his toys.

Hope that my fellow Canadians have a lovely Canada Day today and that my American friends have a great Independence Day on Saturday! 

Thoughts On The Last Day of School

Today marked the end of my 13th year of teaching.  Thirteen years.  Wow.
I graduated university in April of 1996, spent April, May and June of that year driving from school to school supply teaching for various teachers on leave.  I was offered my first full-time job in September and the rest is history.  One thing I can say for myself is that, throughout the years, I have never rested on my laurels.  Gaining experiences only moved me to strive for new ones.  I have taught grades one, two, six, seven, eight, eleven and twelve.  All by choice and some more enjoyable than others.  For example, after teaching grade seven for a couple of years, I opted to teach a one/two split class and thought I was going to die.  That year, I realized that I am much more comfortable with older students.  The young ones will hunt you down and make you suffer.  The snot, the never-ending stories, the unsolicited hugging...it was all just too much for me.  Yes, I'm definitely more comfortable in the upper grades.

Today also marks the end of my second year of teaching in high school.  Has it been difficult?  Yes.  Would I ever go back to teaching elementary.  No. I do like high school and have found my groove.  Other teachers are now coming to me for lesson plan advice and for resources and this tells me that I am in the right place for now.  That said, I can only sit back and wonder what my next move will be.  I don't like to stay in one place for too long.  Life moves too quickly and there are too many experiences to be had.

For tonight, though, I am happy to take a break from school, to unwind the stresses of the year and contemplate warm summer days spent doing anything I like.  It doesn't get much better than today.