Monday, November 10, 2008

Get Ready to Give Baby A Bath

 
I was caught off guard today.

One year ago I was pregnant with twins. I was worried, but happy that I held life inside me and wanted nothing more than to surround myself with positivity. I joined "Babycenter" to track my babies' progress day by day and to learn of their development by the minute. Eight weeks later, I miscarried.
Christmas came and went and I felt lonelier than I ever could have imagined.

Weekends away with friends, amid 20+ people was more isolating than I could have imagined.

July - The due date of these two babies came and went.

All the while, I forgot to unsubscribe from Babycenter.

Today, in my inbox, Babycenter decided to send me some tips on how best to bathe baby.

I should have three and a half month old twins.  I should have. 

I read the entire email, then marked it as spam.  I didn't cry.

Not one tear.

I have one more due date to get through.  December 19th.  I wonder if I will cry then.

I unsubscribed today.

Proof is below.


One day at a time.

16 comments:

  1. One day at a time - even an hour at a time, if you have to.

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  2. I am sorry. My heart is with you.

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  3. No words to offer enough comfort.

    Hugs

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  4. Oh gosh. What a terrible reminder of such a sad event. I'm so sorry.

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  5. Hugs to you and K2. You both deserve so much better than this.

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  6. I had a similar experience a number of years ago when MotherRisk called me to ask if I wanted my baby to be involved in a study (I had called them early in my pregnancy to ask some questions). It was a very unnerving experience --

    Hugs to you and K2
    Cari

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  7. I had something similar happen. It's hard. It hurts. I'm so sorry.

    Thinking of you.

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  8. I think of your babies a lot.
    We were supposed to go through this together.
    I feel guilty sometimes. I'm no more worthy than you
    I'm sorry.

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  9. I wish I had the right words to comfort you.

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  10. ((hugs)) sweetie. Big, giant, humungeous HUGS.

    Love you. xo

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