On that bad day, negative thoughts race through my head at warp speed:
The twins deserve a better mother.
J. deserves a better wife.
My friends deserve a better friend.
My family deserves a better daughter, sister, granddaughter.
I am incapable.
Thankfully, I am able to have enough perspective (not a lot) on these days to know I likely need a break, that I'm tired, that I'm depleted and my reserves are low. I also know that I am not alone. I know that everyone feels this way sometimes.
That tomorrow will be better.
And, it is.
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| March 3, 2010 - One year ago today. |
Hugs...those days really suck. I feel like that too. You are not alone. Not constantly but sometimes I reflect back and instead of seeing the good stuff, I see the bad stuff and tear myself down. It is not a good thing. Hard to admit and thank you for sharing this. Good to know that I am not alone either.
ReplyDeleteYou should not tear yourself down. You are awesome and amazing and a true inspiration to me.
Keep smilin!
Becoming a mom can make even the most confident of women second guess themselves. We've all been there. More than once. And we'll be there again. You've got a good head on your shoulders and an awesome support network so I'm not worried about you one bit. You're doing a FANTASTIC job!
ReplyDeleteAin't that the truth!! It seems that there isn't much inbetween at the moment. It feels all good or all bad. Wonder why that is?
ReplyDeleteHow true!!
ReplyDeleteI have those same moments. It's so hard. Thankfully Z seems not to notice and he still likes me when I am not very confident in myself or my abilites as a mom.
You're SO not alone!!!
ReplyDelete*sigh*
ReplyDeleteI hear you on this one.
Seemingly I can transform (in my mind) from a busy, capable and good mother to an incompetent mess of a parent within moments.
Luckily the next day usually is better.
Hang in there with me:)
You are definately NOT alone on those feelings. I have them more often than I should. I'm glad today was better. The main thing is not to beat yourself up over feeling that way...we all feel that sometimes. I used to look at all the other moms and wonder why they could do it all so easily and I sucked, and then after talking to many of them I'd realize we were actually all feeling the same way! The real kicker came when I had someone come up to me and ask how I do it because I always seem to have it together and do everything easily, I proceeded to laugh out loud at the thought of me having it together!
ReplyDeleteWe all go there sometimes. Motherhood can be a huge challenge. It can also have huge rewrds and we have to remember that too.
ReplyDeleteYOu are definitely being too hard on yourself. You are a great mom and no one is ever perfect no matter how hard we try to be for our kids. They are thriving in your loving care.
ReplyDeleteI definitely have had days like those. :(
ReplyDelete