Saturday, January 5, 2008

Standing In That Forest

From "Ea.t Pr.ay L.ove":
"When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope.
'So sadness is a place?' Giovanni asked.
'Sometimes people live there for years,' I said."

I know, from our recent loss, that there is a fantastic community out there for those of us who suffer from infertility. I used to think that the adoption community was an anomaly; that the support, love and friendships were a result of the wonder of adoption, but I was wrong. It is not the event that binds us together, but the common experience; the chance to say "I have walked in your shoes". The beauty of this kind of support is that you needn't have walked an eternity, a mile or even an inch in those shoes. If you wear them, you are a part of the experience. How I wish that I knew about this kind of support seven years ago.

So, if you are standing in that place, that forest of sorrow, know that there are others who are standing right alongside you. K2 and I are certainly not the people to turn to if you are looking for an infertility success story, but we have stood in that forest and sometimes take short trips back for reasons of our very own.

I am beyond proud to be a part of this list and if you have been touched by infertility, are going through the pain of it now, or if you simply want to have a glimpse into the lives of those who live it daily then go there. Read. The list of posts is long, the breadth of experience far-reaching, but to know that we are not alone in that forest is something of a comfort. And don't we all need a little comfort now and then?

24 comments:

  1. Sweet pea I'm so glad you're finding support here! Know we're always here to listen to whatever it is you are going through, and support you 100%!

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  2. So glad you found this online support! It can make a world of difference.
    Hugs from Liz and Ava

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  3. I'm not a tree in this forest, but I care a lot and want to stand with you although in different shoes.

    I'm glad you've found such good support.

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  4. I'm glad you have found some support. My shoes are only similar to yours in a few ways. I remember the pain and tears. Times does heal....but it does take a while!
    Hugs my friend.

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  5. Sorry to be vague....I'd rather not post about it!

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  6. Ah yes, I am familiar with that forest.
    (wouldn't wish a trip there on my worst enemy, yet I've met some of my best friends there...strange, isn't it?)

    XO

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  7. It is amazing what brings people together and once you have found them, how supportive and wonderful they are.

    Keep smilin!

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  8. We certainly do, K2.

    I'm glad you have found others who can share your journey with you. There is nothing quite like having someone say, "I've been there. I get it." And they really do.

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  9. Words really aren't adequate. I brought a box of tissues w/me when I read some of the posts (I didn't submit one). I was in the adoption world for a few unsuccessful years and found a wonderful support system, then when we decided to try ART I had no idea how huge the IF group would be. You know how much I care...

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  10. I thank you for having the courage to write about infertility. It's not something that's easy to do, I know, I still have a hard time with it. I'll stand in the forest right beside you until we find a way out.

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  11. Congratulations on being part of the list. That quote is something that resonates deeply with me. And yes, we all need a little comfort now and again. I am so glad you've found such a very large community of friends who 'get it'.

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  12. We'll stand beside you and and try to clear a path through that forest one day...one day.

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  13. Thanks for sharing as you do.

    One woman who speaks says the words of many. Thank you.

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  14. Wow.... thank you... from one tree in the forest to another.

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  15. I didn't know about all this community (maybe it wasn't here) at the time we started to deal with infertility (can't believe it was more than 10 years ago...). Too bad. But as long as we live it will be part of us, so thanks for the info because I'm sure I'll use the link.

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  16. What a great post...I love the exerp from the book and how you worded "touched by infertility". I am realizing more each day what blessings have come my way due to the fact that I have been touched by infertility. For one, I have met you, K1, one of my many blessings! :)

    Happy New Year!!

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  17. I clicked over.
    Wow, what a huge support system.
    Wish I had known about it.
    Hell, I still may very well need it.
    xo

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  18. I have walked in that forest, worn the tired bare thread shoes, I didn't have the voices to guide me through, walked with my husband, alone.
    It sometimes seemed a dark place not even my family could go with me, I am happy to hear there are people to hold your hand, lean on and talk to down the path.
    Comforting....

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  19. I once couldn't see the forest for the trees. I was standing in a big pile of steaming sorrow, and it smelled bad. I had to walk a long way to get it off the soul of my shoes. There is hope. Sometimes it is only hope that keeps us walking in blindness under the cover of night.

    And one day you will take another's hand and lead them out of the forest where they lost their way.
    My hand is reaching for yours.

    I'll wait around until you take it.

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  20. The life experiences that have brought wonderful and dear people into our close circle are easir to deal with....with them by our sides.

    A beautiful post my friend. Lots of healing hugs coming your way.

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  21. I have not specifically dealt with what you have. I have had 2 back surgeries, and am now unable to carry my own. I am so sad sometimes that it consumes me. I cry alot when hubby isn't with me. People that don't know about our Chinese adoption coaster ride, tell me how lucky I am not having any kids. I have now started explaining in painful detail how blessed they are and how I'd rather not hear them grumble about the kids. It helps to know that I am not alone in this pain and that others do get it!

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  22. You are an amazing person and we wish you both much peace and comfort. Thank you for the comfort that you have extended to us...

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  23. Hey...I meant to tell you this (and it has nothign to do with this post really). My nephew, Dakota and my nephew, Zane, each got kayaks for CHristmas. They are orange.

    Get it...2 kayaks.

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