A student kil.led he.rself this morning. I cannot imagine the desperation she felt, the extreme sense of loneliness and the emptiness that consumed her. The truth is, she was gone before the act itself. Our school is cloaked in grief.
I wonder how many of us truly appreciate how difficult it is to be a teen in 2007. My grade twelve students and I hold a silent discourse through the written word that speaks volumes.
Each morning, they write for me. Sometimes, I give them a topic and other times, they simply write freely. When I take all of the journals in at the end of the week and read what my students are dealing with on a daily basis, I am floored. Depres.sion, parent conflict, ab.use, ra.pe, dru.gs are all a part of these students' lives and I worry so much about the decisions that they make in response to their problems.“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
As big as they are and as much as they claim to be "all grown up" the students who walk the halls of my school (and schools across the world) are still little. They still need love, still need bug hugs and kisses, still need us to tell them how proud we are of them, and still need to hear us singing their praises to others. Sometimes, it is difficult to do, I am sure. However, when my students started hearing me describe them as my "Beautiful Grade 12 Class" to other teachers (and I make sure to refer to them in this way whenever one of them is around to hear it) I felt a shift in the class' attitude toward me. I was no longer "some teacher" and became someone they did not want to disappoint.
Make sure your kids know how much you love them.
Be someone they can turn to (even if it is through written words) when they are in trouble.
Open your arms and hug them despite their resistance and their claims of "I'm too old for this!"
You will never regret it.
OMG - K1 I am sooo sorry to hear this. I know that teenagers talk a big game but that yes they are so young is many ways.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder and I am sorry about the student. It must be very difficult for everyone around. I can't even imagine.
How terribly sad. I try very hard to stay in tune with what is going on with Emmie. it is so hard to be a teen in this world we live in.
ReplyDeleteI will keep you, your students and this students family in my prayers.
Oh, this is so very sad. I am sorry, K1.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I worry about my girls growing up. I will do everything in my power to make sure they know they can count on me and that I love them no matter what...
Sandra
http://jazzieandtahlia.typepad.com
That is so sad to hear. I'm sorry for you and the people in your school and I am terribly sorry for the parents. How awful. I just could not imagine.
ReplyDeleteThis is so devastating. Poor angel. My thoughts and prayers are with you, the students and her parents.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that. What a wonderful and heartfelt reminder.
ReplyDeleteKeep smilin!
K1
ReplyDeleteWell said. Your kids are lucky to have you. Many have an empty house and a television to come home to. Parents are busy trying to survive in their own world. Each one of us can make a difference in a child's life.
Love Dad
Oh my gosh, K1, now I see why you said it was a tough week all around. I'm so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteTeenage years are sooo tough...I remember them well. Yet another reason your students are so extremely blessed to have you in their lives. I love the journaling idea - keeping the lines of communication open. They'll always know that you are there for them, even if they feel that no one else is!
I'm so sorry. It must be so difficult at your school right now. Take care of each other.
ReplyDeleteCari
Oh no... I'm so sorry. I so hate to see this. Such a loss. Someone with so much potential. Their whole life still before them. And it makes me sad to think how dark and hopeless they must have felt to do something so final. If only they could have seen what we saw in them. A future full of possibility.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how deeply this will affect you and your kids in the days and weeks ahead. I lost my 17 year old cousin 2 years ago to suicide and I know the impact it had on them. Your students are so blessed to have such a warm, caring and geniune teacher.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and the kids in my thoughts.
Sorry for your loss K1 . . . good post - well written and a great reminder for us all.
ReplyDeletek
I totally hear what you're saying & agree. This is why I LOVE working with teens. It is a wonderful challenge and gift.
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) friend. So much for you to be dealing with. Praying for you as you're supporting your students through this terrible time.
ReplyDeleteSo sad that this was what the girl felt was her only way out.
As you say, we cannot begin to imagine what these kids are dealing with on a daily basis.
K1, how awful. I can't imagine her desperation. It is always devastating when someone feels they have no one they can turn to. I think your advice is solid. We can only do what we can to make our kids (whether our students, or our own children) know that we are there for them, no matter what. I am so sorry your school has to go through this. It is indeed a sad reminder of how hard it is to grow up in this world.
ReplyDeleteHUGS, K1.
Suicide surely leaves a big message.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about that...I know it has to be so sad. I'm sure all of your students feel love, and what a reminder for all of us.
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad.
ReplyDeleteI remember having a teacher do the jouraling with us - it was great.
Thank you for the reminder, I'm off to hug my kids.
Hopefully this tradegy will help some other kid who might be thinking of this as their only way out realize that he/she does matter to more people than they think. So sad and horrible for the family. It is a good thing you do with your students. This world needs more teachers like you that truly care.
ReplyDeleteHow tragic, always when a young life is taken.
ReplyDeleteI think you are a fabulous teacher,I can tell how much you care about your students. You are a positive role model for these young people who otherwise might not have one in their lives,give yourself a hug(from me).
I love the journal idea, theraputic for these kids, someone is listening to them too.
Oh, I'm so sorry. You're right, there's nothing better than praising kids publically in front of them. Nice job. I'm sorry this kid didn't hear it enough.
ReplyDeleteI'm SO very sorry to hear about this.
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad. Why is there so much pressure on young people? I'm so sorry. Your post made me cry. Thank you for still loving the kids and helping them to feel good about themselves.
ReplyDeleteYou are someone truly special and already you have proved this to your students who in turn are responding to you.They wiill be forever changed due to your positive influence on them.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that something so sad and possibley avoidable has happened so close to your big heart.
Oh my heart just aches inside reading this... I don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteThis is sad beyond words. Poor child. I can't imagine the hell she felt to do something so drastic.
ReplyDeleteOh mercy, so much grief. I am so sorry for you, your class, your school. My heart aches to think of the issues that kids are dealing with everyday.
ReplyDeleteWhat an important lesson to be learned from such an awful event. I am so sorry for this tragedy that has become far too commonplace.
ReplyDeleteyou're gonna have one lucky kid
ReplyDeleteone of these days
xo
how horrible.....
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! How horrible that the poor student thought death would be a better place. Sending prayers for you all!
ReplyDeleteYou are a very good teacher (and person). Some people don't seem to be able to cope with this life and give up, it's so sad because life can get better. "The boy" had only one brother and he kil.led hi.mself about 4 years ago when he was only 22.
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry for that girl and her family, friends and the others around her.
I've been so out of touch lately wrapped up in my own issues and I missed this. I'm so sorry you and your students have to go through this. I feel terribly for the family, I can't even imagine what they must be going through. It isn't easy growing up this day and age at all. I think having a teacher like you though, makes things a bit easier for these kids. I hope my girl has a teacher like you.
ReplyDeleteWow - that is so sad. I am so lucky to have grown up with the parents I did. And I want my daughter to know how much she is loved every day for the rest of her life. That is my goal...
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrible loss, to the students family, friends, and school.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this tragic news. You amaze me with your insight and words during this time. Your students are fortunate to have you there for them during this time.
ReplyDeleteI hope in time you and your students will begin to heal from this tragedy. No one should ever have to bury their child.
ReplyDeleteI lost my childhood friend to suicide almost five years ago. I will never know why she did it, she had so much to live for. But in her mind she didn't think life was worth living. It is still so sad to think that she is gone.