Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Eye Contact

I made my way to a greenhouse today to find out what I could do to save my beautiful Robinia and was cautiously hopeful that someone would have answers for me. Upon my arrival, it was raining, so there were few (if any) other customers walking around. I saw one woman pruning shrubs, but figured that she was not in customer service since she did not lift her head as I walked by. I saw a sign in the distance that said, "Customer Service" and walked over to the sign and stood there (in the rain) waiting for the promised service. No one came.

“The eyes indicate the antiquity of the soul” Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes



I walked toward the cashiers and asked them to direct me to someone who could help me and I was pointed toward the woman I originally saw who was pruning intently.

I walked over to her (her head still down) and this was the dialogue:

Sad Tree Girl: "Excuse, me. I was wondering if I could ask you a question about a tree I own."

Pruning Woman (still looking down): "Yep."

STG: ---- (refusing to speak until she looks me in the eye)

PW: --walks past me and is now behind me--

STG: --refusing to turn around--

PW: "What can I do for you" (I cannot see her because she is behind me)

STG: (I turn around and wait for her to look at me before I begin my question)


Sigh...

I crave eye contact with people with whom I am speaking and have a difficult time when someone does not look me in the eye when dealing with me on any level. I don't know why, but deep down it feels rude to not look at someone when I am speaking to him or her and I have a difficult time holding a conversation with someone who does not reciprocate that contact. I am not a touchy-feely person on any level, so I suppose the eye contact is the only way I can let someone know that what they are saying is meaningful or that I am giving my full attention.

Anyhoo...the diagnosis for the tree is bleak. I was given the name of an arborist that I am to call tomorrow. "Jack" will come to the house to give us an idea of the prognosis, but I am certain that we will be told that the split is terminal.

Our quandry: do we get a red maple, whose leaves stay red from spring until end of fall, or do we get a green leaf maple whose leaves turn bright orange and red in the fall?

20 comments:

  1. That was so rude of her! Making eye contact is a way of acknowledging that someone is there.

    Good luck with the tree doctor, hopefully they'll be able to save the tree.

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  2. You are a winner with either of those beautiful sounding maples. I hope that your arborist has better eye contact - that is so frustrating.

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  3. I am with you on the eye contact and I agree that it is rude to not look at people when speaking to them - ESPECIALLY one on one!

    If you are asking for my opinion, I vote red maple - I think they are sophisticated and regal looking - don't know why - I just do!

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  4. Why is it some people can make us feel like we're interrupting them when we ask them to do their job? Ugh!

    Hope Jack is able to help and if not my vote is for the beautiful green leaves that burst into colour in the fall! It's my dream to own one of those someday.

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  5. Green maple where the leaves turn orange! My favorite. We also have three of them in our yard.

    (And...I wasn't even looking at you when I said that. Just kidding! I was! I was!)

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  6. Eye contact is reaaaallly important to me too. If someone doesn't make eye contact with me, I feel that they are being shady, somehow, or they just don't want to talk to me. Even KIDS know that they should make eye contact! Gotta love those kind of clerks.....:-)

    As for the tree...hmmmmm...they both sound sooo beautiful! I would go for the second option too, how pretty! We don't have many maples here at all.

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  7. My Mom was so shy that she said she didn't find out other people had eyes until after she was 40 ;-)

    My vote is for the Orange (like my hair) Maple. Actually either one sounds lovely.

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  8. Oh yes....it irks me too when people don't look at me.....it is rude! Sorry about the tree, girl!

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  9. We have an "autumn blaze" maple and true to it's name it turns a fiery orange (then red) in the fall and is absolutely beautiful. Trees that change throughout the season are much more interesting than those that don't (in my opinion).

    (@)_(@)

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  10. It is rude and she is not very adept at customer service. I stop what I am doing when someone approaches me.

    Both sounds lovely. The green maple might be more of the traditional type. I hope Jack can help you out though.

    Keep smilin!

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  11. That is a dilemma. I love the red maples, but there's also that wonderfully cozy feeling that comes from seeing leaves turn in the fall... alternately, have you considered a Japanese maple? Just slightly different, comes in red if you want that, a little twist on tradition...

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  12. Yep. RUDE.
    Eye contact aknowledges a person.
    Someone obviously shit in her cornflakes.
    And as for which maple? I have a Japanese maple in my yard. We love it.

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  13. My two year old even knows that she gives me eye contact so I know she is giving me her full attention.
    Rude, dude.
    I hate when I am speaking to someone with sunglasses on , can't tell if they are looking at me or off in the blue yonder(I would of said my chest but we all know better)

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  14. I grew up with a gorgeous green leaf maple in my back yard. That's what I would go with.

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  15. I say that people who are not people persons should not be doing people person jobs :)

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  16. We have an autumn blaze maple that the city planted for free. Can you get one? They are flaming red in the Fall. You know how I adore all things flaming.
    And does pruning a Robinia give it the runs?

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  17. I hate that! You feel like you are bothering them! Hello...you work here lady!!!!!

    Oh...tough call on trees. I love changing colours...but also love the red!

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  18. rude rude rude PW!!!!! sometimes I call managers and report them when I feel like the guy in "Falling down"
    Michael Douglas I believe.

    I think you should get both trees. 2

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  19. Hope Jack helps...and looks you in your pretty eyes!

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  20. I get the eye contact thing and I'm not the least bit touchy-feely. Maybe that's what it's all about.

    Maple? Can't help you - both sound wonderful in their different ways. I love red leaves in summer, but the bright orange and red in fall - well, that's incredible!

    Ps. May I link to you?

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