Tonight, though, I tip-toed downstairs while K2 was still in his post-dinner carbohydrate haze and fished out the Christmas tree box from deep inside the storage room. I carried that sucker upstairs and began the task of setting it up. That's all we're doing. Just the tree. It will have to be enough for this year.
As I was gently placing our ornaments on each branch, so many beautiful memories bubbled to the surface. Is it possible that I actually enjoyed doing this tonight? To be quite honest, I never would have guessed that a tree would be standing lit in our great room this year. It never seemed likely. But here it is. Standing. Lit.
Some of my favorite ornaments:
Our "Home Sweet Home" ornament. It's simple and warm, just like our home.
Our very first "Aunt and Uncle" ornament from our nephews Alex and Noah.
Our first Christmas Ornament as a married couple (1996).
After we lost the twins last December, Liz
gave us these beautiful angels for our tree.
Maybe Christmas doesn't have to be so bleak.
gave us these beautiful angels for our tree.
I understand. Last year I couldn't deal with the holidays. No tree, no decorating. I think it was a combination of things that culminated with the fact that I was at the 18 month mark of my LID. My agency had told me my wait would be 12-18 mths. So when I hit that number it triggered something subconsciously that threw me into a really dark place for awhile.
ReplyDeleteThis year is better. I've made peace with the wait. My tree is up. I'm actually excited about the holiday and have a million things planned between now and Christmas to celebrate.
I'm glad you pulled that tree out... :)
Glad you decided to do it...may the tree bring you some happiness this month. And next month, too, if you don't get to taking it down. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it helped you feel somewhat better. Sometimes it's good to be reminded of all the happy memories when we're knee deep in not so good ones. Thinking of you guys.
ReplyDeleteI understand completely. I'm glad that putting up the tree helped and the ornaments brought back happy memories.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you both.
Glad you had such a good time putting up the tree! It's amazing what wonderful memories the docorations will stir up and someday you'll have new memories of decorating with your children.
ReplyDeleteI understand, I'm glad it brought out some good memories.
ReplyDeleteIt's the not-so-good ones that give us strength during difficult times.
I remember those dark days. The ones that I didn't want to celebrate Christmas. Too painful. I am glad you were able to decorate the tree and find some happiness. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteGood for you my friend. Nothing like a beautiful tree covered in warm memories to light the dark and dreary December nights.
ReplyDeleteThe holidays are a reminder of what is, what was and what will come. I like that it closes the year. Let this be your closure.
ReplyDeleteThat's beautiful, K1. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteI think some traditions, even though they bring up bittersweet memories, can be healing. Enjoy. Love each other. Revel in that.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you enjoyed putting up the tree and it was somehow healing for you.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see a picture of the whole tree.
We didn't put up a tree last year for similar reasons. This year I bought this little fiber optic tree that is very festive, but doesn't hurt as much as the trees that we bought for the first 7 years of our marriage. I was even very proud of myself when I hung our stockings on the mantle.
ReplyDeleteBeen there...for sure.
ReplyDeleteSo, now we both have some tree going on that we are actually enjoying. THAT is a wonderful thing.
I'm so glad you got to relive some wonderful and comforting memories while decorating your tree.
Hugs to you and wishing for wonderful things ahead!
A beautiful tree, with beautiful reminders of the joy that can exist amidst great sorrow.
ReplyDeleteHUGS from Alberta!
I love that you found joy in decorating and taking a walk down memory lane. For me, the only reason to decorate is so I can see our special ornaments. One for each year since we bot our first house.
ReplyDeleteKeep smilin!
Sending hugs. I know this time of year is hard for you.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you did that! It's hard to feel glum when you're gazing at a lovely Christmas tree decorated with precious and meaningful items.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy!
Everyone needs a Joshua Tree.
ReplyDeleteReach up.
Hoping the tree brings you many blessings. Glad you can talk about the pain.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas.
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Alyzabeth's Mommy of Eleven Weeks
Forever Family Day 09/16/08
One of the best parts of decorating for the holidays is seeing all the special ornaments we've collected over the years. I understand how difficult it is but not decorating, for me, was more depressing.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found some happiness in this little holiday ritual.
One of the best parts of decorating for the holidays is seeing all the special ornaments we've collected over the years. I understand how difficult it is but not decorating, for me, was more depressing.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found some happiness in this little holiday ritual.
I am starting to think about what to do for Christmas too. Thanks for sharing. If you can find a bit less bleakness, I certainly can. If only I knew what to do to make Christmas work in the middle of summer!
ReplyDeleteI love the ornaments all lite up like that. It really made me remember what I love about life and this time of year.
this brought tears. i don't have a tree again this year, not since divorce, mom, all that. 3rd year without one.
ReplyDeletedidn't even bring out mom's nativity this year.
i don't know.
just... i don't know.
but maybe...