We had a friend over today who asked us about how we came up with the names we chose for the twins. Frankly, it wasn't as easy as we thought it would be to name our children. You'd think that after nine years of trying to have a family, we'd have had the names down in a heartbeat, but it wasn't like this at all. It took until May or June to decide and once we had made the decision, we were more than happy with the names. When I look at the babies now, I find it difficult to imagine them as the names that we almost chose for them.
This little face almost became James (he is so NOT a James).
If you have or if you are going to have children, what do they (will they) call the adults in your life who are not family? Do they (will they) call them by their first names? Do they (will they) call them Mr. or Ms. Whomever? I'm fairly traditional and don't like the idea of my children calling adults by their first names. However, I realize that many adults don't like to be called Mr. or Ms. Whomever.
I referred to our friend today as Miss Sarina in front of the babies and it seemed to feel right. Not too formal and not too casual. Can you help a girl out? What are your thoughts?
we call our friends Auntie _______ and Uncle _______ for those we're not so close with, we just call them by their 1st name...??? But I don't know. Good question. I like auntie and uncle.
ReplyDeleteI am SO checking back on this post! That is something I struggle with. Being an only child, I do not want every friend to be Auntie/Uncle. That is reserved for close friends (i.e. Auntie K1 & Uncle K2 and cousins Chick and Pea). I use Miss/Mr and their first name. But I am open to other ideas. It is about respecting elders even when elders are not elderly.
ReplyDeleteKeep smilin!
I am totally against the auntie and uncle name calling. I think it is confusing to a child to have to call someone that when they are not related to them. Just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteWe refer to people by first names unless they have asked for something different. We seem to know a lot of doctors. Perhaps he will call everyone Dr this and Dr that.
My girls call our neighbors Miss Lori, Mr. Rob, Miss Shannon, etc.
ReplyDeleteAs for very close friends, they just call them by their first names.
So I guess my feeling is that if people in our life are extremely close to us, the girls will simply call them by their first names. Neighbors, friends' parents and acquaintances are always called Miss and Miss so-and-so...
As for "Charlotte and James", they are cute even though those names do not fit them since I happen to know their real names ;-)
I'm rather traditional. My kids call adults Mr. and Mrs (last name.) Some of my friends buck this, but I tell them that their kids are free to call me whatever the heck they want them to, but for my kids, it is important for me to call them by Mr. and Mrs. Our vrey closest friends our kids call auntie and uncle, but those are very close relationships. Otherwise it is Mr and Mrs everybody.
ReplyDeleteThis one is really tough. I always thought we would use Mr. and Mrs. So and So but for the most part it appears that everyone is just first names. Some of my clients are Mr. So and So and some associates are Miss whatever their first name is.
ReplyDeleteI also do not care for that Auntie and Uncle tag for every Tom Dick and Harry.
Bottom line we make it up to fit the situation....yes I bet it is confusing to be one of my children!
I like being called Miss Lisa... it is a nice Southern tradition even though I am not in the south. I don't think people should be called aunt of uncle unless the truly are the aunt of uncle.
ReplyDeleteYour babies are darling by the way.
I feel the same as you do... my children call friends/acquaintances by Miss/Mr. (insert first name). I think children of today are not being taught proper manners. Unfortunately, I don't hear too many children doing this.
ReplyDeleteYour babies are too cute!
Wow I am in the minority here. I guess it could change since my babies aren't even 4 months old and therefore not calling anyone anything yet, but it never occurred to me for them to call anyone Mr. or Mrs. anything. I went to a very formal school where everyone was Mr. and Mrs., and we didn't even know teachers' first names (but did lots of espionage to try to find out!), so I'd be fine with formal titles at school, but I feel like all of our friends would laugh if they were called Mr. or Mrs. first name or last name.
ReplyDeleteI guess our friends are kind of divided into categories. My best friend Debbie has a daughter my girls ages and they just call her Debbie. Calling her anything other than that just seems weird. For our neighbors that we're friends with, they call them "Ms. Meg, or Mr. Brian", and if we're acquaintances, then there "Mrs. Jones, etc"
ReplyDeleteWe're pretty informal here - other than school and that's years away - everyone is first name.
ReplyDeleteI suppose if it was someone I myself didn't know very well, it might be different, but for the most part, first names...
Our children call them Ms. Pattye and Mr. Brandon. If the other adult says, Oh they can call me Pattye or Brandon, I politely let them know this is what works for our family. I feel as if you put some sort of title in front of a name it makes it a LITTLE more respectful, but yet they still can use the peoples' first names. On the other hand, there ARE those people we don't use their first names. Teachers at school, doctors, etc.
ReplyDeleteNow I think the babies look like James and Charlotte. I will probably never know their real names so that is what they will be in my mind...tee hee
Our VERY close friends are Auntie and Uncle, but there aren't very many. The rest call them Mrs. or Mr. My kids don't even notice and I feel it's more appropriate. I think as long as the respect is there.....
ReplyDeleteI could write a short novel on this subject. I'm sure you remember my opinion as we've talked about it before so I won't bore your readers with my ramblings.
ReplyDelete;-)
My friend has 2 toddlers - James and Charlotte - and those cuties look nothing like your cuties. Funny.
ReplyDeleteWe do Mr and Mrs "lastname" unless the adult says to call them by thier first name and then we use Mr and Mrs "firstname". My husband's culture calls everyone aunite and uncle, so friends from his culture are called auntie and uncle. But we do not use that for other friends. We think the use of Mr, Uncle, etc shows respect.
We also live in Ontario and in our community most kids call adults by thier first name - but I think it is odd and was not raised this way.
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ReplyDeleteI think that family is who you say it is - just because you are not related by blood - doesn't mean you are not family. My children will call CLOSE friends aunt and uncle because they will be a big part of their lives.
ReplyDeleteI also think more than just teachers and doctors deserve the respect of Mr & Mrs. and I think that friends that are not that close will be Miss and Mr First name and other random people will be Mr & Mrs Last name.
I would love to hear High on Crafts ramblings on the topic.
Your babies names are perfect for them!
I'm with M and M on the 'auntie and uncle' thing -- if they're close friends, it seems appropriate.
ReplyDeleteFor me, personally, I'm fine with being called just by my first name. I would not want to be called Ms. LastName, but if the parents weren't comfy with only the first name, I could live with being called Ms. FirstName.
Sounds like you got a lot of good advice! I'll jump in and say that Bri calls everyone "Miss So and So" or "Mr. So and So". It just seemed right!
ReplyDeleteI'm the same as some above. Close friends will be 'Auntie K1' and 'Uncle K2'.
ReplyDeleteClose friends are Miss `first name`and Mr. `first name` Many of my piano students call me Miss Catherine and I like the combo of familiarity and yet respect too.
Other friends that are not as close trip me up a bit. Often it's Miss 'first name' and Mr 'first name' but it makes it tough when they're my parents age or close to it. Sometimes I find myself flipping between 'Miss first name' and 'Mrs last name' with the same person. My little love will be so confuzzled and it will be mommy's fault! :o)
I have a friend whos kids everyone Miss or Mr First Name and I can honestly say I HATE IT!!! I do not have a problem with ANY kid calling me by my first name. My kids call some of our friends Aunt and Uncle Whatever and some are first names and some or Mr and Mrs Last names..We kinda go by what fits and what their kids call us:)
ReplyDeleteYour babies are ADORBALE!!!
When I grew up we addressed all adults as Mr. or Mrs. I always thought our child would do the same out of respect.
ReplyDeleteOver the last few years many of our friends either introduce me as 'S' or 'Miss S' to their children. At first I was wasn't sure what to think, but have come to prefer 'Miss S'. I will teach the Miss and Mr. with the first name. It is more personal yet still respectful, in my humble opinion. :o)
late to the post but... i ask. what do you prefer my child call you? i prefer he call them 'miss' or 'mister' and then first name - i'm new South and like it. i grew up with 'mrs.' and 'mr.' last name and then as an adult it was ok to call them by first name only. aunt and uncle doesn't feel right at all. only my son's godparents get that distinction along with other blood relatives.
ReplyDeleteWe use first names unless otherwise requested. If the person is more formal or we think there may be a cultural reason for more formal address I will ask. Personally I don't like aunt/uncle as it denotes a familial tie and can contribute to a bigger issue that's probably best left for a non personal blog discussion.
ReplyDeleteTranslated into English, I would call my mom's friends Mrs. So and so (in Spanish it would be Senora so and so). My friends kids call us by our first name. I'm not sure what we'll do when it comes to our kid.
ReplyDeleteWe do Miss 'first name' and Mr 'first name', partly because our oldest has some indescriminate friendliness issues and it's best for us to put a 'layer' of formality between kids and grownups. At her preschool the teachers let the children call them either 'Teacher Gail' or Miss Debbie', whichever the kids like, when I was at school we called every Teacher by their surnames(unless they couldnt hear us, then it was a different story!)
ReplyDeleteI haven't been by here in a long time. Your little monkeys are getting so big! They are just adorable & look like they are full of personality now.
ReplyDeleteif it's REALLY close friends, i am doing the european/carribean thing: auntie/uncle so-n-so. for other adults, exactly as you did- Miss or Mr. and then the first name.
ReplyDeleteit just feels nice.